By now, it’s apparent that right-wing media outlets are taking a “Gish Gallop” approach of overloading their audiences with a flood of factually dubious arguments to defend Donald Trump through his impeachment inquiry, and that’s made for an exhausting and confusing couple of months. Conservative commentators have staked out virtually every imaginable position on Trump’s Ukraine scandal -- provided those positions all conclude that Trump didn’t do anything wrong, of course.

For instance, Fox & Friends co-host Steve Doocy might say, “If the president said, I will give you the money but you have got to investigate Joe Biden, that is really off-the-rails wrong,” and the very next day instead offer that “no president in American history has been better prepared for an impeachment inquiry than Donald Trump."

The goal of Trump defenders, as has been a running theme throughout the Trump presidency, is to rig arguments in his favor. As one defense falls, another takes its place. If Trump is accused of something, his defenders will call it “fake news.” Once enough evidence mounts to make the “fake news” argument seem silly, his defenders will seamlessly pivot to claims that it’s actually fine that the accusation was true.

Their defenses don’t always make sense. They’re often not even grounded in fact, and they don’t even need to be in order to be successful. But it’s helpful to understand what those defenses are. Below is a collection of arguments made in Trump’s defense since September 19, five days before House Speaker Nancy Pelosi announced a formal impeachment inquiry:

September narratives:

• “The president can say what he wants to anybody.”

• The whistleblower “probably has a political agenda.”

• The whistleblower complaint is probably “just pure nonsense, bunkum.”

• The media is covering the whistleblower story only to distract from the economy.

• This is just Trump practicing “The Art of the Deal.”

• The whistleblower “is a punk, a punk who's snitching out the president's phone calls to a foreign leader.”

• “Nothing illegal happened.”

• The whistleblower is the one who committed a crime.

• The whistleblower complaint is essentially based on a rumor.

• The real story is that Biden is corrupt.

• Even if Trump offered Ukraine a quid pro quo, “it would not be a crime.”

• Trump was “duty-bound” to ask Ukraine to investigate Biden.

• The world is “less safe” because of “coup-driven Democrats.”

• This is “the collusion hoax part deux.”

• “There is a total logic behind” Trump’s decision to hide transcripts on a codeword-protected system for classified information.

• The whistleblower rules were recently and suspiciously changed.

October narratives:

• The impeachment inquiry is a “coup.”

• Some State Department witnesses might have been appointed by former President Barack Obama.

• Rep. Adam Schiff (D-CA) colluded with the whistleblower.

• Calling on other countries to investigate political opponents is actually a good thing.

• It’s OK to ask foreign governments to investigate political opponents as long as you’re “honest and transparent” about it and there isn’t a quid pro quo.

• Texts sent among American diplomats William Taylor, Gordon Sondland, and Kurt Volker don’t show a quid pro quo.

• The scandal doesn’t “seem very shocking.” It’s the media’s fault.

• Ignore any future whistleblowers because we have a transcript, and the transcript is fine.

• “Abuse of power” is not impeachable because it’s “not anywhere in the Constitution.”

• The “deep state” is out to get Trump.

• The inquiry “lacks the necessary authorization” unless the House votes on a resolution.

• There’s “no question” the Ukraine scandal “starts with Obama.”

• This is just “partisan politics,” unlike the impeachment of former President Bill Clinton.

• The whistleblower is a spy who should be in jail.

• The whistleblower’s past contact with Biden discredits the report.

• The impeachment inquiry is “an abuse of power” by House Democrats.

• Russia didn’t hack the Democratic National Committee’s emails in 2016 and the server might actually be in Ukraine.

• The framers of the Constitution “would have never wanted an impeachment within a year of an election.”

• Former Ukraine Ambassador Marie Yovanovitch spied on conservatives.

• Acting White House chief of staff Mick Mulvaney was mistaken when he admitted to a quid pro quo.

• Democrats just want to “destroy” Trump because of their “hatred of American values and our heritage.”

• “There hasn't even been a hint of scandal” with Trump as president.

• U.S. Ambassador to Ukraine Bill Taylor’s testimony proves there was no quid pro quo.

• The impeachment inquiry is actually just the “revenge of the globalists.”

• “Abuse of power is not a crime.”

• Quid pro quo with Ukraine is OK because Trump is a “disrupter.”

• The impeachment inquiry is a “kangaroo court.”

• The impeachment process is unfair to Trump.

• Republicans aren’t even allowed in closed door hearings.

• Congressional witness Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman may be guilty of “espionage” and working for Ukraine.

• Two days isn’t enough time for Republicans to read the eight-page impeachment resolution before voting on it.

• Impeachment is like “a secret ritual conducted by a cult.”

• The House’s vote on an impeachment resolution actually makes the process “more corrupt.”

November narratives:

• “This quid pro quo, if it actually was completed -- which it wasn’t -- was a good thing.”

• Removing Trump from office “would blow a hole of legitimacy in the center of our national politics.”

• The whistleblower complaint contains “factual errors,” tainting the whole process.

• Too many documents are being released.

• Trump has a right to “face his accuser.”

• Trump didn’t commit an impeachable offense because his attempt failed.

• The impeachment process is going too fast.

• The whistleblower “does not deserve to be anonymous.”

• “No one can find Ukraine on a map.”

• “It would be unconstitutional to impeach the president” on the basis of abuse of power or obstruction of justice.