By Kate Conway

Always ready to manipulate current events, Rush began the show today with a discussion of the health care summit, which was going on at the same time as his show. He blustered that the summit was boring and railed that the Democrats were being “mean, arrogant, petulant, just lousy.” He then attacked Obama personally, saying that the president “doesn't have a clever or supple enough mind” to address health care from a new angle, calling him the most inexperienced, unqualified guy in the room.

Rush claimed that Obama “raised his head very arrogantly” when Sen. Lamar Alexander spoke, as if Obama were saying “how dare you make more sense than I do.” Rush also contradicted Alexander's statement that the GOP wants Obama to succeed, saying, it's “not true.”

Rush then played a clip of Obama describing instances in which his daughters have required medical care. Rush stated that Obama told the anecdote about his “two daughters -- his two fat daughters, according to his wife”-- benefitting from a great health care system and asked why Obama would want to destroy such a great system.

In order to complain about the mainstream media's purported bias, Rush imagined what a Martian might think of Republicans if such an alien had read only what has been printed in the mainstream media -- that the members of the GOP are monsters. He then suggested that the Martian would be shocked to see otherwise at today's health care summit. One Republican Rush considered particularly exemplary was Rep. Dave Camp. Rush declared that Camp was scoring three-pointers during his turn to speak by reading from Democratic bills. Reading from bills is “death for Democrats,” Rush said, claiming that Obama therefore cut Camp off.

To end the segment, Rush asserted that Democrats are using the same old playbook tactic of emotional stories to make their point, saying “all these poor people, 'Yeah, I lost half my face in a Shamu tank and I couldn't get it fixed because of -- didn't have any insurance.”

Rush next attempted to attack Sen. Harry Reid for saying that no one is talking about reconciliation. He said that Reid was being undercut by his own party, because Democratic strategists are leaking information to Politico that suggests that reconciliation is a strategy they intend to employ. Rush said the purpose of the summit was to make Republicans look like stuffed-shirt, uncompromising, mean extremists and to illustrate gridlock so Democrats have an excuse to use reconciliation.

Rush told us that during a break he turned on the health care summit just in time to catch an exchange between Obama and Sen. John McCain. During the exchange, Obama reminded McCain that the campaign was over, and McCain said he's reminded of that every day. Rush then stated that Obama was constantly cutting people off, listing Camp and McCain as examples. He said that McCain “jumped in ugly” and Obama didn't like it. Rush also claimed that, because summit attendees were not informed of time limits on speaking, Obama was “arbitrarily imposing” time limits.

Rush next read from an article tying rises in unemployment numbers to recent heavy snow. He ridiculed this idea, then asked, “If snow causes layoffs,” how come nobody at the federal government lost their jobs?

Rush then turned to live coverage of the health care summit, excited about an exchange between Obama and Rep. Eric Cantor in which Cantor read from the Senate bill. Rush claimed that Obama was livid, that his lips were pursed and that he was shooting daggers at Cantor. Later he said that Obama was shooting "Boris Karloff eyes" toward Cantor. Rush described the scene in the room while Cantor was reading as “utter panic” and claimed that an aide to Obama had to tell him how to respond. He said that Obama was unable to defend the size of the “behemoth” Senate bill, ignoring that Obama explained that the bill was complicated and that eliminating regulatory provisions undermines public safety.

Rush finished off the hour by saying that Obama was coming off as confused and whiny.

Limbaugh: “What's wrong with using a dead person's teeth? Aren't the Democrats big into recycling?”

In the second hour, as the health care summit broke for lunch, Rush speculated that the White House was trying to find a way to cancel the rest of the summit. He suggested that the main strategy behind the summit was to cast Republicans and insurance companies against the “poor” American people. Rush ranted that they're doing this with sob stories, complaining especially about an anecdote told by Rep. Louise Slaughter. Slaughter told of a constituent who had to wear her dead sister's dentures because the constituent couldn't get health insurance. He returned to this topic several times in the show, using it to mock the Democrats, at one point asking, “What's wrong with using a dead person's teeth? Aren't the Democrats big into recycling?”

Rush tried suggest that Republicans had a firm upper hand at the summit, saying that Obama was coming off as confused, annoyed, whiny. “Our guys,” he said, know more about the bill than Obama because they've read the bill and he hasn't.

Turning briefly away from the health care summit, Rush played a clip of the Daily Beast's John Avlon speaking to CNN's Jessica Yellin. In the clip, Avlon said that talk radio hosts have more influence than party leaders when it comes to strategy, and specifically referred to Rush's statement that he hopes Obama fails. Rush called this the sound bite of the week.

LIMBAUGH: Now, I want to go back to this Jessica Yellin and John Avlon piece 'cause I did -- I don't deny it -- I did say I hope he fails. But more to the point, I knew in the end his policies would fail because they've never worked anywhere else they've been tried, and I knew his policies would damage the nation. But the point is that he is a failed president and he's the one that did that -- not me.

I mean, I'll gladly take the blame, credit, whatever your point of view is, for daring to tell the truth when nobody else would about what we all needed for -- to happen here and that was for him to bomb out. But he's the one failing, not me. I'm not -- I'm the opposite of failure.

I'm sitting behind a microphone in Florida and I brought Washington to a standstill, like a blizzard. I mean, I'm a human blizzard out there, according to these people.

Returning to health care a short while later, Rush managed to tie the health care summit to one more generalized criticism of Obama:

LIMBAUGH: Ladies and gentlemen, in the universe of reality, it is quite appropriate to say -- I think even safe to say -- after the first three hours of the health care summit, added to the first 13 months of this man's administration, that Barack Obama is doing to his party what he has done to the economy, and what he wants to do to health care and that's kill it.

Rush said that people want Obama to be Messianic, and they had hoped that he would run the summit well. Rush, however, does not view Obama as Messianic, instead he described the president with the following terms: petulant, whiny, almost out of control, unprepared, ill-informed, arrogant, cocky, and unable to discuss health care. Rush claimed that Obama felt he had to shut down discussion on health care because continuing the discussion would embarrass him.

After a break, Rush made a great show of announcing that he had been wrong in suggesting that Republicans shouldn't go to the health care summit. He said that the president had been slapped around the room both rhetorically and politically, and declared that House Majority Leader Nancy Pelosi and Vice President Joe Biden were coming off as the petulant, unlikable people that they are. Limbaugh commended Republicans for sticking to high arguments and “making hash” out of Democrats.

When a caller tried to explain to Rush the difference between filibustering judicial nominations and filibustering legislation, Rush used it as an opportunity to launch into a criticism of reconciliation. He tried to explain that reconciliation is only meant to be used to pass budget bills and falsely claimed that it's never been used to pass bills like the health care reform bill. He said that the Democrats have to use reconciliation to govern against the will of the American people.

Reviving his attack on the Democrats' style of discussion, he claimed that because Cantor was making “mincemeat” out of the bill, Obama resorted to calling it a prop. Rush suggested that Obama employs tactics like this when he's losing.

To close out the hour, Rush told us about the news he had planned to make his lead story before he decided to focus on the health care summit: a study indicating that helping others activates parts of the brain that process pleasure. Rush seemed to think that the Agence France Press article about the study, which was headlined “Subconsciously, humans want to share the wealth:study” was arguing for forcible redistribution of wealth. He declared that people enjoy it sharing their own belongings, but that being forced to share isn't enjoyable.

Limbaugh fixates on MSNBC's decision to cut away from summit to show the Olympics --“It's women's hockey to boot!”

At the top of the third hour, Rush rubbed his hands together as he announced that the second half of the health care summit had just kicked off. He asked if we could imagine a CEO running a meeting like this -- without an end goal. He then criticized the fact that lawmakers are being bussed to Blair House rather than being allowed to drive.

Rush then read a post by blogger Bungalow Bill, who commented that we knew more in five hours about the Orca whale that killed its trainer than we knew about Obama before the election.

Rush proceeded to play live audio of the health care summit and periodically talk over the speakers. Declaring that the summit is about sob stories, Rush shouted “Do it for Paul! Do it for Paul!” This, it was revealed later, was a reference to the late Sen. Paul Wellstone.

As Sen. Tom Harkin was speaking, Rush broke in, saying he wanted to voice his concern about his family's rapidly rising health care taxes. He asked if Harkin knew that the “president's own network” (a reference to MSNBC) had cut away from the summit to show the Olympics. “It's women's hockey to boot!” Rush exclaimed. When Harkin referred to segregation, Rush declared that we do segregate since conservatives aren't allowed in many places. He then shouted, “Talking point alert!” and finished the segment by asking how many people Sen. Harkin “screwed” when he sold insurance.

Rush finished his criticism of Harkin by declaring that the senator is one of the “biggest loads” in the Senate and again shouting, “Do it for Paul!”

Taking a breather to address the economy, Rush said that Fed chairman Ben Bernanke warned Congress that we could soon face a debt crisis like Greece and that the Fed won't print money to pay for the deficit. Rush suggested that someone read Bernanke's statements to Obama.

Back to health care: Rush said that the real horror stories are happening in places like Great Britain, and read from a story about patients in a British hospital being treated poorly.

Rush then talked about pole dancers who want their profession to become an Olympic sport. Noting that they don't have very many signatures on their petition, he suggested that they spend an evening hitting the strip clubs in New York.

At this point, a listener called to complain about the educational system in her school district. Limbaugh said that history is the vehicle they're using to pollute kids' minds with things like global warming, current events, and politics. When the caller complained that they're boxing kids in by limiting them to one area in their high school education. Rush said that this is similar to what the “Chi-coms” do. Rush then reminisced about his own experience in the educational system, which he says “missed him.” He knew what he wanted to do when he was 9 years old, but they didn't care. They went the well-rounded route.

To wrap up his analysis of the health care summit, Rush complained that the Democrats weren't allowing the Republicans to talk. He gave a breakdown of the amount of time each party spent speaking during the morning session: Obama spoke for 58 minutes, Republicans for 56 minutes, and Democrats for 50. Rush insisted on adding Obama's speaking time to the total for the Democrats, scoffing at the idea that Obama should be counted separately since he's the president. He declared that the Republicans weren't being allowed to speak in the afternoon session.

During the last segment of the show, the Dittocam showed Rush playing an enthusiastic air triangle along to his bumper music. Perhaps Rush liked how the summit was going. Sure enough, he declared that Rep. Paul Ryan had just “stuck it to” Obama.

To close things out, Rush wondered who would judge pole dancing at the Olympics, then suggested Tiger Woods, or perhaps John Edwards.

Solange Uwimana and Zachary Pleat contributed to this edition of the Limbaugh Wire.

Outrageous comments

LIMBAUGH: Once again, folks, we are seeing that without a teleprompter, we have a president who does -- well, it -- it's said very well by a friend of mine -- doesn't have a clever or supple enough mind to come at the issues from a different angle than he's done 347 times in the past. I mean, literally, he started out -- this is a health care summit, trying to get together with the Republicans.

He started out saying the exact same thing, telling the exact same stories that he's done at all of his health care townhalls. He wasn't talking to Republicans; he's talking to whoever was watching on TV. Not one new approach, not one new tactic, not one new strategic move here.