This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by Rush's disdain for “conformity.” Oh yeah, and his first Rolex
By Greg Lewis and Karl Frisch

Jumping ear-first into the last hour of Rush for the week, we were greeted with a grand conspiracy theory from El Rushbo. See, everyone is focused on the swine flu -- which Rush falsely claimed hasn't killed anyone in the U.S. yet -- so nobody has noticed that April was the deadliest month in Iraq since September. The Iraq story is being hidden, Rush suggested, because the upswing in violence might be caused by Obama making it clear that “we're getting out of there.”

Rush then spent several minutes reading the entire letter written by National Review's Andy McCarthy to Attorney General Eric Holder about U.S. torture and detention policy. The letter was lengthy, and there would be a lot to discuss based on its content. But since we're short on time, let's just pick out one problem we have with it here at the Limbaugh Wire. McCarthy wrote: “I believe alien enemy combatants should be detained at Guantanamo Bay (or a facility like it) until the conclusion of hostilities. This national defense measure is deeply rooted in the venerable laws of war and was reaffirmed by the Supreme Court in the 2004 Hamdi case.” Conservatives love to point to decisions like Hamdi to say it justified what the Bush administration was doing. They rarely point out that the Bush administration lost almost all of its detainee cases before the Supreme Court -- including Hamdi. Call it a legacy defense fail.

Next up were a few more callers for “Open Line Friday!” the first of whom wondered about Obama's potential Supreme Court nominee, asking: “So by Barack Obama looking for somebody that the system has failed, isn't he in essence looking for someone who's a failure?” To which Rush responded: “Yeah. He's looking for a failure. He's looking for somebody who's been on the wrong side of the law, somebody who -- yeah. He's looking for somebody who does not know success, because those people -- see, in his worldview, the only reason those people are on the wrong side of the law or haven't had any success is because the achievers and those who have accomplished things are stealing from them and denying them opportunity.” Rush finished: “And that's what he's going to change -- and he's hell-bent on it. And he's making it clear every time he opens his mouth.” The only thing Rush, talk radio's biggest achiever, is stealing from the Wire is time, precious time.

Unfortunately the next caller had been disconnected before Rush could talk to her, but he answered her question anyway. The caller apparently wanted to know why Rush would waste energy during Earth Hour just because he didn't believe in the cause. Rush responded with a lecture on how and why he doesn't conform, though he certainly doesn't like it when people won't conform to his way (Things Ought To Be) of thinking: "[T]he reason I do all this, is to do two things: a) to not conform with the tug of popular sentiment, which is a bunch of sheep. I refuse to be a sheep. I refuse to be a lemming. And I refuse to accept stupid, idiotic erroneous premises -- this premise being that if we all turned our lights out, somehow we're making a statement for the future of saving the planet. It's absurd. ... [W]herever there are liberals, Roberta, I oppose them. And this is nothing more than a bunch of liberal activists practicing mind control and trying to create as many sheep as possible." Rush concluded: “I was simply expressing my political point of view and just shoving it down their throats.”

For the remainder of his show, “Open Line Friday!” roared its ugly head and gave us some of the most uninteresting callers we've ever heard. One caller brought up the Panetta Institute Lecture Series, which will feature a forum with Karl Rove and David Plouffe, Barack Obama's former campaign manager, on “Can the Partisan Divide Ever End?” The caller pondered if any liberals would try to throw shoes or pies at Rove, but Rush assured the caller he would be fine. The next caller asked if Obama would ruin truck production in America -- Rush was skeptical since the Sierra Club would probably be designing cars for Chrysler now. The final caller asked Rush what we're sure has been burning on everybody's minds: what did Rush purchase when he first “made it”? Rush told a couple of heartwarming stories about purchasing a Rolex on a cruise and chartering a Learjet. A true man of the people, the Rolex complemented his “formerly nicotine stained finguuurs.”

Well, we at the Wire hope you've weathered Simon's first absence as well as we have. We expect Simon to return on Monday. Hopefully, a day of rest will have rejuvenated his spirits and the Limbaugh Wire will return better than ever. If you missed his heartwarming brand of snark, take some time to peruse through our vast Limbaugh Wire archives.

Highlights from Hour 3

Outrageous Comments:

CALLER: I have a small firm, and when I get the system to work for me, I call that success. And when the system fails me, I call that failure. So by Barack Obama looking for somebody that the system has failed, isn't he in essence looking for someone who's a failure?

LIMBAUGH: For his Supreme Court nominee?

CALLER: Yes, sir.

LIMBAUGH: Yeah. He's looking for a failure. He's looking for somebody who's been on the wrong side of the law, somebody who -- yeah. He's looking for somebody who does not know success, because those people -- see, in his worldview, the only reason those people are on the wrong side of the law or haven't had any success is because the achievers and those who have accomplished things are stealing from them and denying them opportunity. And that's what he's going to change -- and he's hell-bent on it. And he's making it clear every time he opens his mouth.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: Why would you turn yours off just because these people say to do it? Why would you not resist the tug of popular sentiment? What -- what -- you make yourself feel better by going along with such nonsense? The reason I turn my lights on, Roberta, and lit my house up as brightly as I could, and the reason why, on Earth Day, I sent my airplane to California and back, burning jet fuel -- the reason I do all this, is to do two things: a) to not conform with the tug of popular sentiment, which is a bunch of sheep.

I refuse to be a sheep. I refuse to be a lemming. And I refuse to accept stupid, idiotic erroneous premises -- this premise being that if we all turned our lights out, somehow we're making a statement for the future of saving the planet. It's absurd.

And so, rather than just not turn my lights off -- wherever there are liberals, Roberta, I oppose them. And this is nothing more than a bunch of liberal activists practicing mind control and trying to create as many sheep as possible. And I am, not then, and I'm never going to be a sheep.

So, I do it. I was expanding the economy. I was keeping people working. I was simply expressing my political point of view and just shoving it down their throats.

Echo Chamber:

Rush read the complete letter from National Review's Andy McCarthy to Eric Holder, and subsequently linked to it on his website, RushLimbaugh.com.