By Greg Lewis

Welcome to the Friday edition of the Limbaugh Wire, or, as we're calling it here in our D.C. headquarters, the “PANIC! IT'S SNOWMAGEDDON" edition of the Limbaugh Wire. Yes, ladies and gents, we're sticking around long after the city of D.C. has declared a snow emergency to bring you what could be the riskiest edition of the Limbaugh Wire we've ever written. But we're prepared! The Limbaugh Wire cell pantry is currently stocked with: 7 pairs of snowshoes, 12 lbs. of dried navy beans, a handle of our special homemade moonshine, and two frozen meat pies. I know, I know ... we have an intern making a trek for more moonshine.

Anyway, Rush -- unaffected by the snowstorm in his Florida bunker -- began the show by accusing Obama of “monkeying around” with the unemployment numbers. But we'll have to wait for him to elaborate on that later in the show.

Then Rush read from a Gallup poll finding that about a third of the country views socialism positively. Rush said it wasn't a surprise that more than 60 percent of liberals had this view. Next, Rush mentioned an AP article noting that the U.S. Senate would likely be “less diverse” after the next election. Rush said the people who are complaining about this are worried about diversity in skin color, not diversity of ideas -- “typical liberalism,” he said.

Rush on his use of the word “retard”: “I purposely chose to use a rhetorical tool. Satire! S-A-T-I-R-E, to ridicule and humiliate them”

After explaining how the new mission statement of the media is to “browbeat” Scott Brown to the left, Rush finally addressed the brewing Sarah Palin controversy. To recap: When we last left Rush, he was assuring listeners that Palin wouldn't criticize his controversial use of the word “retard” in recent days. But then, after Rush went off the air yesterday afternoon, Palin's spokesperson did just that on behalf of the former Alaska governor. As reported by Greg Sargent, Palin spokesperson Meghan Stapleton responded to Rush's use of the word: “Governor Palin believes crude and demeaning name calling at the expense of others is disrespectful.”

But after Sargent's report, Politico jumped into the fray, with a claim from Stapleton that her statement on behalf of Palin wasn't directed specifically at Limbaugh. However, Sargent has proof too the contrary.

Still with us? Fantastic. So when Rush began to address this today, he started by picking up the storyline that Stapleton wasn't specifically referring to Rush when she gave that statement to Sargent. Rush breathlessly embellished the story thusly by recalling how Palin's spokesperson called him “sort of in a panic.” Then Rush made his “last word” on the controversy:

LIMBAUGH: OK, the last -- here's the last word on this. The last thought on Rahm Emanuel and Harry Reid. I took some liberties. For those uncomfortable with the favorite words of leading Democrats -- Negro and retarded -- I have a question.

Are you comfortable with the words, or with Harry Reid and Rahm Emanuel? I'm uncomfortable with the men and the manner in which they use these words. Words don't generally offend me. I try not to give people the power to offend me, but Harry Reid and Rahm Emanuel -- they do offend me, and they scare me, and they worry me. These men have cold hearts. They are statists. They have power over all of us. They are trying desperately to exercise that power.

In fact, my friends, I am so uncomfortable with these men I purposely chose to use a rhetorical tool -- satire, S-A-T-I-R-E -- to ridicule and humiliate them. That tool is an effective blunt object in breaking through walls put up by state controlled media to protect Democrats. Satire. For those of you in Rio Linda, here's the definition: the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule or the like in exposing, denouncing or deriding vice, folly, etcetera.

I used Harry Reid's words and Rahm Emanuel's words -- not mine -- to expose and punish their behavior. I used satire to wash their mouths out with soap and made an uncomfortable point because the state controlled media would have run any Republican out of office, as in George Allen and macaca, if they had been caught saying what Reid and Emanuel said. Just as they're trying to run me off the radio for repeating what they said.

Now I'm not going to hold my breath waiting for Saturday Night Live or late night comics to treat Democrats the way they treat Republicans. If some would choose different methods to expose Reid and Emanuel, fine. We share the same goals, and both are useful in getting results. Do not doubt me. And aside from the state-controlled media, everybody involved got the point, and so did they -- their outrage totally fake and totally predictable.

After the break, Rush returned to his previous tease about the latest unemployment numbers. Rush noted that the “state-controlled media” were talking about how great the job numbers are today, but Rush claimed that the numbers were not accurate. Rush said the Obama administration was “manipulating” the numbers by lowering the number of jobs “in the total marketplace.” Rush also falsely claimed that the what the Bureau of Labor Statistics calls its “U6” number “continue to expand,” even though the number actually decreased by a percentage point from last month.

Limbaugh mischaracterizes Krugman's deficit argument, compares him to a ferret, weasel

Following another break, Rush criticized Paul Krugman, who he pointed out looked like a ferret and a weasel. Rush objected to Krugman's latest argument that, as Rush described it, we need bigger deficits. (Well, Krugman was actually laying out the case that the media's reporting on the deficit was driven by conservative scare tactics, but Limbaugh is never one for nuance.)

Continuing on deficits, Rush talked about the latest economic woes in Greece and that nation's high deficits. Then Rush asked if President Obama is creating a “jobs-gate” by manipulating jobs data for political purposes:

LIMBAUGH: So what's happened here, that last fact has become a loophole to create a phony unemployment percentage. But that's what central planners like Obama do. The facts always obscure their pronouncements and image so they create their own facts, just like climategate, it's no different. Look at -- the bottom's falling out of the whole climate change, we now know it's all fake. It's all made-up.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: So my question: Is Obama creating a jobs-gate? Jobs data being manipulated for political purposes -- who would doubt it? We know that liberals and socialists will do it in the climate movement. We know that they will do it everywhere. Liberalism is a giant lie. Socialists have to lie. They have to obscure facts. So Obama -- we have evidence. Obama has been lying about created or saved jobs for over a year because there is no way to calculate a saved job. So basically he's failing and he's showing us a forged report card with these job numbers that came out today.

Rush concluded the hour with a bizarre take on the European Union. Rush wanted to imagine what would happen if the Chinese did to the U.S. what the EU did in announcing plans to scrutinize Greece's plans to reduce its deficit. Of course, this doesn't really account for the structural differences between the EU and Greece, and China and the U.S. -- Greece being a voluntary member of an EU organized under a set of shared economic principles and China being a foreign purchaser of U.S. Treasury bonds. So it's not really apples to apples. Before the hour concluded, Rush spoke with a caller who said Rush was a bully for his criticism of Obama. They proceeded to argue over single-payer health care.

HOUR 2 SNOWMAGEDDON UPDATE: SNOWFALL IS MODERATE. PANIC LEVEL: 7. MOONSHINE RESERVES: TOPPED OFF. ACCUMULATION: ZERO INCHES

The second hour began with Rush continuing to riff on the previous caller. Rush said that he wasn't the bully, but Obama was the bully (ZING!). Rush said he felt sorry for the next president who would inherit “an absolute disaster” from Obama. Rush continued to accuse the administration of making up the latest job numbers.

Rush goes for another “media tweak”

Then Rush went back to discussing Europe. He explained that member countries of the EU were “equivalent to” our states, in that they cannot print their own currency (NOTE: Not all EU states use the Euro). Limbaugh also observed that all the countries in the EU are “socialist” and warned that “the same thing can happen here.” He repeated his claim that the “ChiComs” can do to us what the EU did to Greece.

Next, Rush mentioned a story that the cafeteria at NBC had recently posted a “Black History Month” menu, complete with fried chicken and collard greens. He would get back to this later. In the meantime, Rush continued to go on about the “bogus” job numbers and the situation in Europe. Rush said that everybody knows the numbers are “cooked,” and that the Obama apologists' blaming Europe for our budget is only going to go so far. Rush said they'll even blame the snowstorm in Washington for Obama's budget.

Rush wondered how countries in Europe could be having problems if they have socialized medicine, since Obama said that nationalizing health care “will solve our deficit problem.” If that's true, asked Rush, how come there are deficit problems in Europe?

Then it was back to the NBC cafeteria menu story. Rush said that he would “tweak” the media by saying NBC's menu was not complete without watermelon. Then Rush committed to ordering lunch for his staff on Monday that would include fried chicken and watermelon in honor of Black History Month. He again suggested that this was a media tweak, and that he was using satire, or something.

HOUR 3 SNOWMAGEDDON UPDATE: SNOWFALL IS HEAVIER. PANIC LEVEL: 11. MEAT PIE RESERVES: DEPLETED. ACCUMULATION: ZERO INCHES

The third hour treated us to Rush's annual pre-Super Bowl chat with former NFL linebacker Ken “The Hutch” Hutcherson. Obviously, they talked about Sunday's game between the Saints and the Colts. One part of the interview that was worth noting was when they touched on the Tim Tebow ad controversy. Rush said that the reaction by the “NAGs” to the ad has confirmed that pro-choice means pro-abortion.

After the interview, Rush said that Michelle Obama “basically admitted her two girls are fat.” Rush said the first lady threw her kids under the bus by admitting to the world that her kids are “fatties.” Then Rush flashed a “satire alert,” warning that the following may be offensive. Rush said the real problem is that Michelle Obama has a doctor who is no doubt ready to rip her off. The pediatrician might have lied to Obama as an excuse to do unnecessary surgery. (See what he's doing there? He's using satire to make fun of what Obama said about doctors performing unnecessary surgery. Or he's making fun of Michelle Obama. Or something.)

The next caller told Rush that if she were first lady, she wouldn't be worried about childhood obesity, but rather, worried that children are getting enough to eat during a recession. Rush quipped that Obama is laser-focused on jobs right now, so he's got that handled, which is why Michelle is focusing on obesity. Rush also used this opportunity to decry the nanny state because people think that “only attention from the government” can solve the problem of obesity.

Rush closed out the program by noting that the Taliban in Afghanistan had rejected a “deal” with Western countries. Rush's knee-jerk reaction to this was to say that Obama runs around as part of the loony left thinking that poverty was responsible for all the world's problems. Rush said poverty wasn't the problem, but the religion.

That's it for the SNOWMAGEDDON edition of the Limbaugh Wire. Nothing can stop the Limbaugh Wire's daily publication, not even total anarchy on the streets of Washington, D.C.

SIGN-OFF SNOWMAGGEDON UPDATE: OMG IT'S COMING DOWN!! PANIC LEVEL: 37. CABIN FEVER LEVEL: PEAKING. ACCUMULATION: ZERO INCHES.

Zachary Pleat, Michael Burns, and Michael Timberlake contributed to this edition of the Limbaugh Wire.

Highlights

LIMBAUGH: All right, let me get something out of the way here before we move on to other issues. Last night, minding my own business around 5 o'clock, 5:30 -- already working on today's show --and I received a flash message from HR, chief of staff. Sarah Palin's spokeswoman had just gotten off the phone with him, sort of in a panic. She had said that The Politico was going to run a story saying that Sarah Palin's spokeswoman had ripped into me for using the R-word, and she had called to say, “I didn't mention Rush in particular. They kept asking me about Rush, and I kept answering generically. But they kept asking me about Rush, and I just wanted you to know.” So I soon saw the Politico story and the reaction to it, and lo and behold that's exactly how the Politico reported it.

I tend -- if it's a contest between Politico and Sarah Palin's spokeswoman, I will believe Sarah K -- Palin's spokeswomen. No question about it. Cause these, the drive-bys have been trying to create this ever since it happened, and it's so -- you talk about transparent. These guys are more trasnparent in their motives than Obama is, and he's the one that pledged it.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: OK, the last -- here's the last word on this. The last thought on Rahm Emanuel and Harry Reid. I took some liberties. For those uncomfortable with the favorite words of leading Democrats -- Negro and retarded -- I have a question.

Are you comfortable with the words, or with Harry Reid and Rahm Emanuel? I'm uncomfortable with the men and the manner in which they use these words. Words don't generally offend me. I try not to give people the power to offend me, but Harry Reid and Rahm Emanuel -- they do offend me, and they scare me, and they worry me. These men have cold hearts. They are statists. They have power over all of us. They are trying desperately to exercise that power.

In fact, my friends, I am so uncomfortable with these men I purposely chose to use a rhetorical tool -- satire, S-A-T-I-R-E -- to ridicule and humiliate them. That tool is an effective blunt object in breaking through walls put up by state controlled media to protect Democrats. Satire. For those of you in Rio Linda, here's the definition: the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule or the like in exposing, denouncing or deriding vice, folly, etcetera.

I used Harry Reid's words and Rahm Emanuel's words -- not mine -- to expose and punish their behavior. I used satire to wash their mouths out with soap and made an uncomfortable point because the state controlled media would have run any Republican out of office, as in George Allen and macaca, if they had been caught saying what Reid and Emanuel said. Just as they're trying to run me off the radio for repeating what they said.

Now I'm not going to hold my breath waiting for Saturday Night Live or late night comics to treat Democrats the way they treat Republicans. If some would choose different methods to expose Reid and Emanuel, fine. We share the same goals, and both are useful in getting results. Do not doubt me. And aside from the state-controlled media, everybody involved got the point, and so did they -- their outrage totally fake and totally predictable.

Outrageous comments

LIMBAUGH: So what's happened here, that last fact has become a loophole to create a phony unemployment percentage. But that's what central planners like Obama do. The facts always obscure their pronouncements and image so they create their own facts, just like climategate, it's no different. Look at -- the bottom's falling out of the whole climate change, we now know it's all fake. It's all made-up.

Now here's this story headline from The Washington Times today: “With suspicious statistics China obscures economy.” Uh oh. “One problem with China's method of economic measurement is politically motivated fudging of the numbers but another is a different method of calculation. ... Regardless of accounting details, Mr. Chang and Mr. Rawski said, other Chinese economic figures are inconsistent with Beijing's official picture of robust growth.”

They couldn't admit to poor performance because the government believed it was necessary to maintain the image of a vibrant economy. So The Washington Times is telling us that the ChiComs are lying about their boisterous economic growth as well. And if this becomes popular knowledge, I shudder to think what happens to Wall Street.

So my question: Is Obama creating a jobs-gate? Jobs data being manipulated for political purposes -- who would doubt it? We know that liberals and socialists will do it in the climate movement. We know that they will do it everywhere. Liberalism is a giant lie. Socialists have to lie. They have to obscure facts. So Obama -- we have evidence. Obama has been lying about created or saved jobs for over a year because there is no way to calculate a saved job. So basically he's failing and he's showing us a forged report card with these job numbers that came out today.