This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by hate crime bus rides
By Greg Lewis

Rush began the third hour noting that he was still “stuck” on the LA Times story about Sanford from the previous hour. Rush had to ask himself: What part of Mark Sanford do most men see in themselves? The part that has the mistress? The part that loves the mistress? The part that never crosses the line?

Then Rush delved into an article from the Palm Beach Post that reported “hungry” residents in Palm Beach County were failing to claim $83 million in food-stamp aid. Rush was baffled as to why the headline would describe the residents as “hungry” because surely if they were hungry, they'd be collecting the food stamps. “You're telling me that since 1964 -- 45 years -- Americans, particularly in a 78 percent or 70 percent Democrat county like this one, don't know where the food stamps are?

Rush continued to mock those who would need food-stamps: ”So why not get some stimulus money and use that to buy advertising in the Palm Beach Post to tell these people that are hungry and starving that there's $83 million worth of food stamps they haven't claimed? Well, the reason is that the people who are hungry and starving, supposedly, probably don't read the paper in the first place or can't, one of the two."

Then Rush [finally] got to reading the article. After a few sentences, he was quick to mock Alex Stevens, the director of the county's community food alliance. He wondered if Stevens grew up wanting to be the director of the community food alliance, and why we would even need such a program. This isn't Honduras, Venezuela, or Afghanistan, Rush keenly observed. He said we're the richest country on earth -- or at least we used to be, before we became a banana republic.

After making a few more jokes at the expense of the country's disadvantaged, Rush giggled about calling the county's 211 information line that was also mentioned in the article. And so he did. Unfortunately nothing interesting happened as a result. All this reminded us of a rant Rush went on a few weeks ago about how the media, in their desire to protect Obama from harm, were not reporting stories of economic hardship that they reported ad nauseam during Republican administrations. Rush was particularly insistent that the media cover how, in the declining economy, children are going hungry. As we pointed out at the time, the media are reporting on childhood hunger, but this all gets to a larger point. Rush seems to treat the hungry in the United States in one of two ways -- either as a cudgel to be wielded against his political adversaries, or as a foil to be mocked.

Rush welcomed us back after the break -- after some more quips about the 211 call -- by playing his infamously headache-inducing unerringly hilarious “Banking Queen” parody. The reason? A Byron York article on Rep. Barney Frank wanting to spend TARP profits “before taxpayers can get them,” which Rush read from at length.

Then Rush moved on to Eric Holder's testimony on the new hate crimes bill. Rush singled out a statement in which Holder explained to Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-AL) the purpose of hate crimes legislation is to protect historically targeted groups -- people who had been targeted based on the color of their skin or sexual orientation. Rush took this to mean that hate crimes are reserved exclusively for “blacks and homosexuals.” He added that “everyone else can get on the back of the bus” on this one -- the front of the bus is for blacks and gays.

Oh, and a brief aside before we move on. Rush made things meta for us again in the middle of his rant on Holder:

LIMBAUGH: You know what the media didn't pick up yet? Whether liberalism is chosen or whether you're born with it. I -- once they get through the fog of the Jackson death, Media Matters will get that to them. I'm sure they have it, it's just a matter of -- it hasn't penetrated the fog there at the editors' desks.

After another break, Rush played some more audio of Holder's testimony, this time in response to a question by Sen. Tom Coburn (R-OK) as to whether the murder of a soldier at a recruiting facility in Arkansas a few weeks ago would be considered a hate crime. Holder said that the bill would not apply to the military because they aren't a group that has been historically targeted. Rush was beside himself over this -- liberals, he said, have been targeting the military with hate crimes for as long as he had been alive, and “Islamofascists” have been targeting them for decades.

Then Rush took a caller who thought that Obama's “saved jobs” statistic might be “made up” because of how many people were still working at ACORN. We tell ya, those ACORN jokes -- like “Banking Queen” -- never seem to get old ... but we were able to keep it together enough to hear the caller say that the only private-sector job growth recently has been in the health care sector, and that must be why Obama wants to nationalize health care. Rush then launched into a rant about how “Colonel Obama” is waging a “war on prosperity” -- a rant that sounded suspiciously similar to a rant from yesterday. And the day before. And last week. And last -- well, you get the picture.

Rush moved on to the next caller, who told Rush that the “drive bys” were just jealous of his success, and that they could just “minimize” Rush if they reported the truth. Rush said that was a good idea, but the problem is that the drive bys think that they are reporting the truth.

Then Rush brought up the story which has been making the rounds today about The Washington Post offering lobbyists and executives access to administration officials and members of Congress in exchange for some lucrative fees. Rush explained that this is just more evidence that there is little daylight between the media and the Democrats, and later noted that the Post had cancelled the “salons.” Then Rush read from a Forbes article reporting that McClatchy might be facing bankruptcy. Rush quipped that they should just sell access like the Post was trying to do.

After the break, and after some more riffing on the Post story and job cuts at Gannett, Rush took a caller who explained his experience after his company sold products because of stimulus money, and the federal government later contacted him because they wanted to know how many jobs were created and saved because of the transaction. Rush told the caller that this administration is “phony from top to bottom.”

The last caller of the day was a doozy. She had heard on “Fox TV” that there was “talk” that Obama “wants to change the constitution” so that he could “live forever as president” and that she was “really concerned” about it. We here at the Wire weren't sure what she was talking about, as we hadn't encountered any Fox News types pursuing this particular lunatic conspiracy. We assume that she had probably heard it on Rush's program earlier this week, and simply confused Fox News and The Rush Limbaugh Show -- which is an understandable mistake.

That's it for this week of the Limbaugh Wire. We're taking a well-deserved day off tomorrow, but we'll be back next week, even if Rush won't. In the meantime, the Limbaugh Wire wishes all of you a happy Independence Day -- oops, we meant Dependence Day -- weekend. In our opinion, no Fourth of July celebration is complete without a barbecue, a few cold ones, and a thorough perusal of the Limbaugh Wire archives.

Simon Maloy, Zachary Pleat, and Hannah Kieschnick contributed to this edition of the Limbaugh Wire.

Highlights from Hour 3

Outrageous comments

LIMBAUGH: You know what the media didn't pick up yet? Whether liberalism is chosen or whether you're born with it. I -- once they get through the fog of the Jackson death, Media Matters will get that to them. I'm sure they have it, it's just a matter of -- it hasn't penetrated the fog there at the editors' desks.

War on the poor

LIMBAUGH: You're telling me that since 1964 -- 45 years -- Americans, particularly in a 78 percent or 70 percent Democrat county like this one, don't know where the food stamps are? Don't know how to go get the food stamps? I got an idea -- we like to bring solutions to things here at the EIB Network. The journalism business is in deep doo-doo, right? Newspapers are in bad shape. Palm Beach Post has laid off a lot of people. They've cut the size of the newspaper. It's no -- it's a tabloid, it's just not printed that way. They still print it as a broadsheet, but there's nothing broad about it anymore. So why not get some stimulus money and use that to buy advertising in the Palm Beach Post to tell these people that are hungry and starving that there's $83 million worth of food stamps they haven't claimed? Well, the reason is that the people who are hungry and starving, supposedly, probably don't read the paper in the first place or can't, one of the two.