This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by President Bush, who was “full of class”
By Greg Lewis

Rush began the final hour of the show by touching on Obama's town meeting in Virginia today. Rush told us how there are normally young and vivacious cultists at these events, but the crowd today looked dead, like it was the last place they wanted to be. Rush also had this to say about the crowd: “It looked like, in fact, this crowd had been rounded up, that they were going to be doing something else, like going to a movie, or maybe half of them going to the welfare office to get the check, and they'd been interrupted -- said, 'No, before you go get the check, you're going in here to listen to the president.' ”

But for all this, Rush was far more interested in White House press secretary Robert Gibb's briefing today, during which a bit of a kerfuffle ensued between Gibbs, Helen Thomas, and Chip Reid over the fact that the White House had pre-screened questions for today's town hall. Rush linked this back to the Nico Pitney controversy: “Now what they're talking about, what's obviously outraged them here, is the Huff Po guy got into the last formal press conference with a staged question. He was told the night before, 'You're going to get in there on a temporary pass, a visitor pass, and here's the question that we want you to ask.' ” This is absolutely wrong; both the White House and Pitney denied that Obama knew what question he was going to be asked. Rush said the other aspect of this is that the “beltway types” didn't like the “interloper,” Pitney.

Then Rush told us a completely anonymous story that we just had to trust him on. At some nameless Obama industry round table, a nameless participant was told by a nameless White House staffer to ask the president a question. Apparently, the nameless participant asked the question, but Obama “botched it to smithereens.” So after the nameless round table event was over, a nameless White House staffer approached the nameless participant and asked him, how dare you embarrass the president this way? So the nameless participant apologized because, as Rush explained, they are scared to death of these people. This, said Rush, is the [nameless city in Illinois that is home to the Cubs and White Sox] thug way.

After the break, Rush continued with his bizarre obsession with rape:

LIMBAUGH: Did you hear there has been an actual rape in -- at Duke University? An actual rape in Durham, North Carolina. Not a phony thing, not a false charge, but an actual rape. A guy sold his adopted five-year-old son to sex practitioner -- five-year-old.

There's a problem with this, too, because the guy is gay. Gay adoption -- this is why you haven't heard about it. This does not fit the template, the false charge of rape at Duke when you had the poor black down-on-her-luck dancer and the rich white lacrosse players. That fit the template: guilty -- well, I mean, before the evidence. This you haven't heard about because this doesn't -- this is a -- doesn't fit the template here of what we're trying to accomplish.

Then Rush took a call from a listener who recounted her phone calls with one of the staffers for Rep. Chris Van Hollen (D-MD). The caller said she tried to explain to the staffer why the Heritage Foundation's analysis of the cost of cap and trade was more reliable than the CBO's analysis, but the staffer didn't buy it. Rush says the caller was dealing with “authoritarian statists” and “quasi-Marxists.” He added that the CBO number was just a technique used to sell this “lie.” Rush then said: “Van Hollen was going to vote on this no matter what. You could have told Van Hollen that this vote will set off a nuclear detonation somewhere around. Well, he'd still vote for it.”

After some more ranting about the leftist fringe in Congress, Rush took a call from an Iraq veteran who was sick of Obama's hypocrisy, just like Rush. Rush said that Obama has a serious self-love complex and won't let anything stop him. Rush then set up a rather silly hypothetical situation: If it had been Clinton's Iraq war, and the surge worked for him, then President Bush would have had him at the event celebrating the U.S. troop withdrawal, because Bush was “full of class.”

Now before we get to the next segment, we must warn you that things may get a little meta. Rush began by pondering the Ricci case, and how four of the Supreme Court justices “saw no discrimination” when it was obvious. Rush asked how nobody found Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg's dissent in the case “outrageously un-American.”

Gracefully pivoting from there, Rush brought up another set of questions. He explained that “many people have puzzled over the origins of homosexuality,” adding that “the question is still asked: These people choose that or are they born this way?” He continued: “I think we need to ask the same question of liberals: Are they born that way or do they choose it?” He rambled on about this for a few moments, then stopped to converse with Snerdley, his producer:

LIMBAUGH: You can't believe I said what? See, you just want me to ask it again. That's all you're doing. You're just -- Snerdley expressing mock shock that I would ask the question. Like he couldn't -- could not have heard it the first time.

All right, in case the people at Media Matters and MSNBC missed it, here it is again. We need to ask a very important question about liberals: Were they born that way or do they choose it?

Yeah, Rush, we're listening. We listen every day. Every mind-numbing, soul-shredding day... And yes, we're going to do something with that. Now, the default position on things like this is outrage, and rightly so, but we're going to go in a different direction. We're taking this as a cause for hope -- he's at least allowing that homosexuality might not be a choice, right? Well, maybe not. But we can dream... As to whether liberals are “born” or “made” that way, we'd have to hope that liberalism is a choice, because if it's not, we're wasting a lot of time and money using the schools and the media to indoctrinate the youth with our “multicultural” gobbledygook.

Rush then took a caller who asked why it is the opposition party that always has to come up with a counter-bill. Rush didn't understand the question -- and neither did we -- but went on to explain “Civics 101.” The Democrats wrote the cap-and-trade bill and filled it with pork, he said, so it would get more votes. He explained that the amendments are meant to allow energy companies to go broke in exchange for re-election money.

But then it was “back to the chickification of the media.” This time, the target was those nefarious “cankles,” thanks to an article on MSNBC.com. After some inane rambling about this, Rush made things meta for us again: “OK, Mr. Snerdley. Media Matters, MSNBC, if you're listening, Bo Snerdley, the official program observer here, thinks the definition of cankles is that you think Hillary Clinton. You stand by that. OK.” So, right now, you're reading Media Matters' write-up of Rush talking about Media Matters listening to Rush. Great. Now, we're dizzy...

Anyway, Rush closed out the program with another caller, who expressed his opinion that people are born liberals, because it's like how religious choices are passed down from family member to family member. Rush said he understood the caller's thinking, and again asked why someone would “choose” to be liberal.

That concludes today's Limbaugh Wire. We hope you enjoyed Rush's shout-outs as much as we did. We exhort you to take a look at our vast Limbaugh archives, which aren't quite as “meta” as this hour, but are no less mind-blowing.

Simon Maloy, Zachary Pleat, and Hannah Kieschnick contributed to this edition of the Limbaugh Wire.

Highlights from Hour 3

Outrageous comments

LIMBAUGH: Van Hollen was going to vote on this no matter what. You could have told Van Hollen that this vote will set off a nuclear detonation somewhere around. Well, he'd still vote for it.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: I think it's time to ask the question, just as many people have puzzled over the origins of homosexuality. People have been puzzling over this for -- I mean, the question is still asked: These people choose that or are they born this way?

I think we need to ask the same question of liberals: Are they born that way or do they choose it? Because there's no rational explanation for it other than it's easy. All you've got to do is see some suffering and say that you care and think other people should do something about it and you are liberal.

And it gets even worse when you start telling other people how to live their lives. And part and parcel, liberalism is having elements of this country that you just despise, that you think unjust and immoral, have to be changed. But, mostly, you don't have to think, you just have to feel. And we all feel, except certain men.

I said what? You can't believe I said what? See, you just want me to ask it again. That's all you're doing. You're just -- Snerdley expressing mock shock that I would ask the question. Like he couldn't -- could not have heard it the first time.

All right, in case the people at Media Matters and MSNBC missed it, here it is again. We need to ask a very important question about liberals: Were they born that way or do they choose it?

[...]

LIMBAUGH: OK, Mr. Snerdley. Media Matters, MSNBC, if you're listening, Bo Snerdley, the official program observer here, thinks the definition of cankles is that you think Hillary Clinton. You stand by that. OK.

America's Truth Rejector

Rush falsely claimed that HuffPo's Nico Pitney had a “staged question” at the June 23 White House press conference:

LIMBAUGH: Now what they're talking about, what's obviously outraged them here, is the Huff Po guy got into the last formal press conference with a staged question. He was told the night before, “You're going to get in there on a temporary pass, a visitor pass, and here's the question that we want you to ask.” And the guy -- “Oh, more than happy to do it.”

And the question he asked was: “Mr. President, we're in contact with people inside Iran, Iranian citizens, and they are saying X, X, X” -- holding the stage and the press. See, it's just they're outraged here that Gibbs would stage this. So what that -- what this means is they know everything else has been staged. How did they know this town meeting was staged? They only know it because everything is.

Ladies' man

LIMBAUGH: Did you hear there has been an actual rape in -- at Duke University? An actual rape in Durham, North Carolina. Not a phony thing, not a false charge, but an actual rape. A guy sold his adopted five-year-old son to sex practitioner -- five-year-old.

There's a problem with this, too, because the guy is gay. Gay adoption -- this is why you haven't heard about it. This does not fit the template, the false charge of rape at Duke when you had the poor black down-on-her-luck dancer and the rich white lacrosse players. That fit the template: guilty -- well, I mean, before the evidence. This you haven't heard about because this doesn't -- this is a -- doesn't fit the template here of what we're trying to accomplish.

War on the poor

LIMBAUGH: And when you watch this, if you do see any tape of this, you just take a look at the crowd. There was nothing they could do to hide the fact that this crowd was dead. It looked like, in fact, this crowd had been rounded up, that they were going to be doing something else, like going to a movie, or maybe half of them going to the welfare office to get the check, and they'd been interrupted -- said, “No, before you go get the check, you're going in here to listen to the president.” I don't know -- they sat there and had sour looks on their faces.