This hour of the Limbaugh Wire brought to you by Dick Cheney ... after all, he “gets results”
By Karl Frisch and Greg Lewis

It's a glorious day for another edition of the Limbaugh Wire, isn't it? As per yesterday's recommendation, we awoke angry from our night of slumber and treaded with ire through the streets of D.C. on our way to the Wire's secret underground bunker, all the while exhaling carbon dioxide, which, thanks to Professor Limbaugh, we now know isn't a “poison.”

Rush wasted no time today, starting his show discussing House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's press conference from earlier today, in which she further elaborated on briefings on the Bush administration use of “enhanced interrogation techniques” she did and didn't attend in 2002 and 2003. Limbaugh explained that this couldn't be seen as an “isolated thing.” This, combined with Obama's reversal on releasing detainee abuse photos, translates to one thing: “Dick Cheney gets results.”

Noting that the “fireworks have just begun,” Rush repeated his conspiracy theory from yesterday: that Pelosi's torture briefing controversy is a calculated move by the Obama administration in order to oust Pelosi as Speaker and replace her with Majority Leader Steny Hoyer.

El Rushbo then laid down his criticism of Pelosi saying that Democrats have been high and mighty about torture, and now it turns out Pelosi “allowed torture.” Of course, Rush couldn't discuss Pelosi without taking cheap shots at her appearance: "[S]he was nervous, those eyes are blinking left and right, that had to -- sure, she gets a lot of exercise when she blinks. Do you realize the muscle exertion required for Nancy Pelosi to blink? So if she works out daily, she can skip it today because she had it during the press conference." Speaking of exercise, we're surprised Rush didn't segue into another discussion of his diet and recent weight loss success like he did on yesterday's show.

After playing several audio clips of Pelosi's presser, Rush predicted “fireworks” in the news cycle. Then, America's Truth Rejecter finished off the segment criticizing Pelosi for lacking the talent to lie like Bill Clinton and Barack Obama: “Is this woman bright, or is this pure political calculation? Nancy Pelosi is so clumsy at this. Liberals lie -- I mean, by definition, liberalism has to obscure what it really believes. Obama and Bill Clinton make this look easy. It's like I've always asked you people, don't try what I do at home. The great make it look easy, but once you try it -- Pelosi thinks she can pull off Obama and Clinton, but it's obvious that she can't. It's a real talent to be able to lie, it's a real talent to be able throw blame elsewhere and have people love you and believe you. This didn't work today. It didn't work for the speaker of the House.”

Of course, nobody has the talent to mislead quite like Rush -- he's got a Ph.D. in advanced misinformation studies from the EIB institute.

Back from the break, Rush read from Dan Balz's Washington Post article, headlined “As Cheney Seizes Spotlight, Many Republicans Wince,” which was more evidence for him that Cheney “gets results.” He then moved on to Obama potentially keeping Guantanamo detainees without trial, which the left is “on fire” over today because as he explains, it is the same as Bush's policy. Limbaugh then explained how liberals who voted for Obama are anti-American: “The wheels are starting to come off here a little bit because these were fundamental elements of Obama's identity during the campaign. These are the fundamental elements that have attracted the left and emboldened them -- anti-American military, embarrass them, humiliate them, make them lose. Terrorists are the good guys, we shouldn't be capturing them, we are the reason they are terrorists.”

After another brief commercial interruption, Rush was back to speculating over Obama's reversal on the detainee photos. Rush says there are three possible explanations for this. First, he claimed -- mockingly - it's because Obama will be giving a speech in Egypt on Muslim-American relations. The second possibility is that an “adult” in the administration pointed out to Rush that the Abu Ghraib pictures made America look bad. The third possibility is that Obama is trying to essentially have his cake and eat it too. Mmmm, cake. You see, Rush thinks Obama's opposition to releasing the pictures is just a political play -- he will then have his Justice Department write a “pitiful brief” about it so that when it goes to the court, they will rule against the administration. In other words, as El Rushbo explained, just because Obama is opposing the pictures, doesn't mean they won't be released.

Rounding out the hour, Rush took a couple of callers, and reiterated some of the points he had made earlier in the hour on Pelosi and Obama. In a conversation with one of the dittoheads, he took another swipe at Pelosi: "[I]t's queen bee syndrome. She has the queen bee syndrome. And by the way, I want to warn all of you lurking in the background, invisible in all of this, is Mrs. Clinton. Keep in mind Mrs. Clinton is there. And Pelosi may be in the process of self-destructing, and Obama -- who knows in four years what his fate is going to be. Pelosi whacked Harman. She was supposed to chair the Intel Committee, and Harman didn't get it. Queen bee syndrome." It's hard to imagine El Rushbo using such an analogy to describe a scenario among male politicians. He concluded with a quip that Pelosi was essentially being waterboarded as she “fight[s] for her career” today, “drip, drip, drip.”

Highlights from Hour 1

Echo chamber:

Rush praised Bill Sammon's comments on Fox News shortly after Pelosi's press conference.

Outrageous remarks:

LIMBAUGH: Now, here's Pelosi after the press conference, after -- and by the way, she forgot herself during this thing, she had to consult her written statements, she was nervous, those eyes are blinking left and right, that had to -- sure, she gets a lot of exercise when she blinks. Do you realize the muscle exertion required for Nancy Pelosi to blink? So if she works out daily, she can skip it today because she had it during the press conference.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: Is this woman bright, or is this pure political calculation? Nancy Pelosi is so clumsy at this. Liberals lie -- I mean, by definition, liberalism has to obscure what it really believes. Obama and Bill Clinton make this look easy. It's like I've always asked you people, don't try what I do at home. The great make it look easy, but once you try it -- Pelosi thinks she can pull off Obama and Clinton, but it's obvious that she can't. It's a real talent to be able to lie, it's a real talent to be able throw blame elsewhere and have people love you and believe you. This didn't work today. It didn't work for the speaker of the House.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: The wheels are starting to come off here a little bit because these were fundamental elements of Obama's identity during the campaign. These are the fundamental elements that have attracted the left and emboldened them -- anti-American military, embarrass them, humiliate them, make them lose. Terrorists are the good guys, we shouldn't be capturing them, we are the reason they are terrorists.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: Now, that's an interesting statement, because the left -- you know, his base -- has anti-American opinion. They don't like this country. Obama's militant base doesn't like this country, and they thought he was one of them.

[...]

LIMBAUGH: I mean, it's queen bee syndrome. She has the queen bee syndrome. And by the way, I want to warn all of you lurking in the background, invisible in all of this, is Mrs. Clinton. Keep in mind Mrs. Clinton is there. And Pelosi may be in the process of self-destructing, and Obama -- who knows in four years what his fate is going to be. Pelosi whacked Harman. She was supposed to chair the Intel Committee, and Harman didn't get it. Queen bee syndrome.