After yesterday's exercise in communist fearmongering about President Obama's upcoming televised speech to students, NewsBusters wants to get some answers. “What Does Obama Want with Our Children?” asks Mithridate Ombud, who is very concerned about Obama's plan “to circumvent parental authority and speak directly to our children in one week." Poor Mithridate just can't see through the fog, but nonetheless knows one thing for certain about Obama's speech: "[L]ike all things Obama does, it's spur of the moment and covert."

Let's consider that statement for a moment -- Obama's speech to students is “spur of the moment and covert.” It's so “spur of the moment” that the Secretary of Education sent a letter to teachers on August 26 -- two weeks before the actual speech -- explaining what the speech will entail and the various ways in which their students could watch it. And it's so “covert” that, in addition to a letter from the Secretary of Education, the Department of Education put out a media advisory on the speech -- a media advisory that Ombud linked to just a few sentences earlier. I mean, really, it's a speech by the most recognizable man on the planet that will be televised nationwide on C-SPAN and streamed on the White House website -- Tom Clancy this isn't.

OK, so maybe it's neither “spur of the moment” nor “covert,” but that's no reason why you still shouldn't be scared to death for your children's fragile minds. After all, writes Ombud, a bunch of Hollywood actors put together a video pledging to support the president, and that, perhaps, will give us a “flavor” of what “the NEA union that controls our children” will present to the kids. If you don't understand the connection, don't worry, because I don't either.

And after attacking the president for trying “to circumvent parental authority,” Ombud asserts some “parental authority,” announcing that “the entire cadre of Ombud children will be having a parent sanctioned skip day September 8th.” Now, remember, Ombud admits having no idea what the president is going to talk about (even though the administration has been very clear the topics will not stray far from “stay in school” and “school is good”), but nonetheless considers the speech enough of a threat that it would be irresponsible not to keep the kids out of school.

The sum total of all this is that Ombud can't find a coherent argument to make against the speech other than the fact that it's Obama who's delivering it. Content is irrelevant and facts are irrelevant. Obama's doing it, so it must be bad. It's like an old Groucho Marx bit for modern times -- Whatever it is, I'm against it!