Fox Nation reports: Something interesting to happen, sometime

Is it just me, or has the bar for what qualifies as “news” gotten awfully low? Here's an item on the front page of FoxNation.com:

This just in: Noted provocateur says he'll soon do … something interesting!

And another:

Vague promises of “interesting” audio of unnamed members of congress? T-shirts?

Fortunately, if you keep scrolling, Fox Nation eventually comes through with some news you can use: