Dennis Miller's “Real Free Speech”: Nancy Pelosi a “nimrod” who is “intellectually ... not up to the task” of being speaker


In his October 26 “Real Free Speech” commentary, a recurring weekly segment on Fox News' Hannity & Colmes, “comedian” and Fox News contributor Dennis Miller attacked House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi (CA), calling her “intellectually ... not up to the task” of assuming the position of speaker of the House in the event that Democrats gain enough seats in the midterm elections to take control of the U.S. House of Representatives. Miller further assailed Pelosi as a “nimrod,” “a C-minus, D-plus applicant ... who no doubt would have been drummed out of the Mary Kay corps after an initial four-week evaluation period." He also accused Pelosi of “regurgitating the Democratic talking points that she had to learn phonetically because the word 'grasp' is not even vaguely in her vocabulary.”

As Media Matters for America has previously noted, other conservative media figures have also attacked Pelosi in recent weeks, citing her assumed role as House speaker in a Democratic Congress as undesirable. For example, on the August 29 edition of his nationally syndicated radio program, Hannity & Colmes co-host Sean Hannity sought to encourage Republican voters and candidates to ensure a Republican victory in the November elections by proclaiming that “there are things in life worth fighting and dying for, and one of 'em is making sure” that Pelosi “doesn't become the speaker.”

From the October 26 edition of Fox News' Hannity & Colmes:

MILLER: Hey, folks. Tonight, we're going to talk about Nancy Pelosi, because the mere thought of the nosy neighbor from Bewitched as third in line to be the leader of the free world has stoked me into a Rain Man-like panic attack. A quick glance of her record reveals she voted to cut intelligence spending. Well, if anyone in the universe should vote for more intelligence, it's Nancy Pelosi. Let's just say that the whistle on Representative Pelosi's train of thought is barely audible off in the distance.

Now, I've worked in office scenarios before where a nimrod rose to a position of power in the office through mere inconsequentiality, and it drove me berserk. And I just know that every day I turn on C-SPAN, which, granted, is never, and see her wielding the wrong end of that gavel, it will give me Krakatoan shpilkes. To think that a C-minus, D-plus applicant like this, who no doubt would have been drummed out of the Mary Kay corps after an initial four-week evaluation period, might have a seat at the table of true powers, the speaker of the House, is absolutely insane.

By the way, to whomever the next speaker is, keep an eye out for that speaker's chair. The rotund Denny Hastert [R-IL] has left a Marianas Trench-like indentation in it, and we would hate to lose you to a tragic black hole incident the very first time you actually sat down. But back to the vivisection.

Every time I see Pelosi in her little Chanel suits -- a latter day “Wacky O” -- regurgitating the Democratic talking points that she had to learn phonetically because the word “grasp” is not even vaguely in her vocabulary, I shake my head so badly you could blend paint colors in my mouth. Now, I know in public the Dems will paint Pelosi as merely a more saucer-eyed version of [former Prime Minister of Pakistan] Benazir Bhutto, but the behind-closed-door fact is that they won't let her be speaker for long, if at all. They can't afford to let this mask of Nefertiti for harridans front their party for the next two years, because it will blow away any toehold they've established with real humans.

Seven hundred and twelve days of observation by the American people of a political entity this empty will drag this country right back through conservatism and directly into the pilgrims' colony at Plymouth Rock. It's not even really her politics that matters that much, although, truth be told, if this woman were any more to the left, they'd have to redefine the left to include 3/16th of the right. It's the mere fact that, intellectually, Nancy Pelosi is not up to the task.

Listen, Pelosi has already blown through the Peter Principle like Gene Hackman under the el tracks in The French Connection. But, please, let's end this charade right now and draw the line here, because making Nancy Pelosi the speaker of the House would allow her to break Chance the gardener's long-standing record for highest rung achieved on the ladder of success by a person who could not open a ladder by his or herself.

PETER SELLERS (actor) [video clip]: Good day.

MILLER: Back you to, Siegfried and Roy.